Final Defense Remembrance

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Shit really happens all the time.

February 26, 2012 – my most tragic, unlucky day of my life. I am declaring it as the day of frustration, disappointment, and rejection. Shit really happens all the time and that time was on the day of my final defense.

After a year full of hard work, exhaustion, “puyat”, coding, and thinking, apparently, it turns out to nothing. It is really disappointing, I don’t know what happened to me during that day. I really did all my best for this project but it seems that it is not good enough. If only I could have the power to turn back time, I will turn back the time after my preliminary defense. That time was the opposite of my final defense. The panelists were very happy of my project, they even said it’s 99%, and I was really happy during that time. So, after that experience, I started to believe that good things will happen during my final defense.

But a bad series of events happen to me before, during, and after my final defense:

First, it was three days before my final defense when I found out that I am required to upload my project on a free web hosting site. I was like “Oh my God!”, I am running out of time and I need to do plenty of works like the manual, my documentation, poster, and the dvd and cd cover.

Next, when I went to Ink Man to print my documentation which is not complete yet, I lost my flash drive and I really feel sorry and guilty because that flash drive is not mine. I just borrowed it from my friend and I don’t know how to tell him that I lost it.

During that day, I have to print my manual and documentation, so I went to the nearest computer shop but during the printing of my manual, the printer was not in a good condition, so I have to wait in order to print the manual that I needed during that day.

It was too late for me when I found out that I have no money for the final defense fee. I forgot to ask for money from my mother, lucky for me that my sister had P500 and let me borrowed it from her.

And then, I accidentally drop my poster when I was riding on a tricycle.

And lastly, my most disappointing moment, when I am presenting my project, many errors showed up during my final presentation. I am not expecting that to happen since it was working fine when I tested it. My adviser asked me to present using my backup on my laptop but, unfortunately, my program on my laptop is an error! I really dont know what to do, or what will I say to the panelists. And then I heard my adviser and one of my panelists saying that “Alam mo mhards, sa lahat ng advisees ko na magpepresent ngayon, ikaw lang ang hindo ko inaasahan na magkaka-error sa defense.” And then, one of my panelist agredd and saying that “Ako nga din eh! Mataas na sana ang grade mo! Sayang!”. It was the saddest moment of my life. When I heard it, it was like my heart fell into pieces and then I felt that I want to cry. I tried to control my emotion and I just said that if I can take a picture with them after the defense, they said “Sure!” and then I felt okay again.

I continued my presentation like there’s nothing happen. And lucky for me that my adviser was there explaining to the panelists the errors of my program.

At the end of my presentation, I saw my adviser clapped his hands. My presentation was a disaster, I don’t even know if I deserved to passed that subject. All I know is I tried and did all my best in order to finish that project, and of course with the help of my adviser whose been my inspiration all this time.

I don’t know what plans did God have for me, but I will stay to believe in him. Whatever the outcome of his plans, I know that it will lead me to what is good because I know that for whatever reason, God always love me and always there for me.

All thanks to God!


7 responses to “Final Defense Remembrance

  1. as lang yan mhards shit happens.. bad omen’s you call it but i think at the end of the day the result was well.. Be thankful that you still finished presenting not like the others who couldn’t even present .Don’t be such a pessimist besides those aren’t your fault. Even sir josh explained that , so drop all the negativity. If your sp fails what about my sp then? thrown in the trash zzzzzz.. I think you really have a high chance of graduating this march. So cheer up..

    • thanks nikko sa pagcomfort mo. Di ko talaga iniexpect na mangyayari to! Hmm.. Iu, tgttry q man na dai na isipon tong mga bagay na to pero as in, nadidisappoint tlaga ako sa sadiri ko. Iu, tgtry ko tlaga gabos para maging okay ang final defense ko. Iniexpect ko arog lang kng preliminary na dawa dakulon ako katong recommendations, atleast magaun si outcome kang presentation ko. pero, inda..dai ko talaga aram..dai ko to iniexpect, dawa si tgsabi katong adviser ko dai ko man iniexpect. mas maray pang dai ko nlng to nadangog, di kuta ngunyan dai ako msyadong nag-iisip kng kapalpakan ko..huhuhu 😦

      • hmm ok.. about what your adviser said. I think he didn’t mean it that way. Im sure he’ll understand that. Besides he even defended you, so that means he knows the real scenario. Sometimes people say something like that but this doesn’t mean you failed them entirely treat it like a challenge for you not to fail them again.. Im having hard time trying to explain my thoughts so Im sorry if im not making sense >___<.. My bottomline is you should be proud of what happened because even though it has flaws you still did your best for that ^_^. So again drop the negativity and cheer up 🙂

  2. aw..english tlaga! hm..I really don’t know what would I feel after my adviser said that, I felt a glimpse of happiness about it because at least I know that he really believed and trusted me. But, at the same time, I felt being sorry for him. I know I disappointed him but you’re right I really tried my best to finish that project but I guess my best wasn’t good enough to passed his standard and expectations… 😦

  3. I did not really expect such things happened to you last Sunday Mhards! Vavaboom! I think they were Seriously series of misfortunes which you actually surpassed. They were challenges for you to make even better outputs! I know scary yung mafail mo yung mga taong nagtutubod saimu.. (them ofcourse because of what they told you) but then shit really happens.. May mga taong madidisapoint mo talaga.. but they are not the ones who will let you down.. it’s ourselves who makes ourselves down… hmm

    but the important thing is you did your best, you loved your work.. and you did the project not only for satisfying their expectations nor anybody’s expectations.. rather for yourself, for enhancing your skills, for discovering your strengths and capabilities, for your family, for all the people you loved.. and for God..

    and at the end of the day.. people who really loves you and care for you will understand your shortcomings 🙂 just like your adviser did.. just like everyone did.. chos! be happy coz you’ve passed another test in your life.. congratz!

    • aw..churva lang ang english ha!hahaha..talo c nikko! hmm..oo nga ate Cid. You’re really right..I really did my best for that project and I did all my best to passed the standard of my adviser. Still, whatever the outcome, I will accept it wholeheartedly.

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